Authentic


Pondering...

How often do you feel as if you’re really able to express your true opinions without fearing judgment? Humans are social creatures that have lived in communities for 1000’s of years, as a result our need for acceptance and obedience to social norms determines our opinions.

We rarely speak our mind and say what we mean. It is more important to fit in.

The only way to be authentic is to speak your mind and the only way to be congruent is to walk your talk.

Your authentic self is the real you that is beyond all of those conditioned beliefs and thinking patterns that you have accumulated throughout your life.

A great article on inner coherence : click here


Thought Provoking...

The spiral of silence

The theory of the spiral of silence can be broken down into the following core hypotheses:

  • Most people are afraid of social isolation.

  • People constantly observe other people’s behavior in order to find out which opinions and behaviors are met with approval or rejection in the public sphere.

  • People tend to hide their opinion away when they think that they would expose themselves to “isolation pressure” with their opinion

  • Mass media may have a decisive influence on the formation of public opinion. If the media repeatedly (in a “cumulative” way) and concordantly (in a “consonant” way) support one side in a public controversy, this side will stand a significantly higher chance of finishing the spiral-of-silence process as winner.

  • Public opinion is limited in time and space. Wherever people live together in societies, public opinion will function as a mechanism of social control. However, what specifically public opinion approves or rejects will change with time and differ from place to place.

The end result of the spiral of silence is a point where no one publicly voices a minority opinion, regardless of how many people believe it.

The first implication of this is that the picture we have of what most people believe is not always accurate.


Elisabeth Noelle-Neumann is a German political scientist. She first presented the spiral of silence theory in two scientific articles in 1974.5) In 1980, the first book on the spiral of silence was published in German.

The New York magazine published an interesting article on “The Spiral of Silence”

you can find it here.

Let this quote remind you that actions speak louder than words. We have all heard this saying, and we have all seen people who only talk but never seem to take the action needed to accomplish what they are talking about. Talking and not taking the appropriate steps can be like wishing or hoping for something to happen - it rarely does!


Wisdom/What I'm Reading...

Ego is the enemy - Ryan Holiday

Ego is the desire to gain recognition without working for it.

Ego is the desire to get fame and recognition without doing the good deeds that are required for us to deserve it. While recognition may result from being successful, many people try to become famous before they achieve success.

Unlike ego, ambition is based on a solid foundation of real achievements.

Rein in your ego by reminding yourself that there’s always more to learn.

Ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus once said,

“It is impossible to learn that which one thinks one already knows.”


One way we can control our ego is by thinking of ourselves as students that never stop learning. Pride makes us deaf to warnings and blind to things we could improve.

Resting on our laurels is a result of our pride. Pride and ego aren’t the same thing, but they definitely go hand-in-hand. Pride helps us justify our ego, making us feel like a single success is a sign of how special we are.

Pride doesn’t just stop us from continuing to learn and achieve, it also makes us overly sensitive to criticism and deaf to warnings. Proud people are very prone to becoming defensive – or even aggressive – if someone tells them they aren’t as special as they think they are, because their ego rests on this falsehood.


When you do your best and things don’t work out, find out why so you can do better next time.

It won’t always turn out the way you expected.

We can’t always control the outcome of that work, or people’s opinions of us. An unexpected result should be welcomed as an opportunity to honestly reflect on our performance.


An ego is not something a person develops on purpose; it is a part of everyone’s personality that develops naturally, especially in conjunction with success. An unchecked ego can end up being detrimental to your success, and you should take careful steps to ensure that it doesn’t get out of control.

Ego is the Enemy is organized into three parts: Aspire, Success, and Failure. The aim is to help us suppress ego early before bad habits take hold, to replace the temptations of ego with humility and discipline and fortitude so that when fate turns against us, we’re not wrecked by failure.

In short, it will help us be humble in our aspirations, gracious in our success, and resilient in our failures.


Those who know do not speak, those who speak do not know.

—Lao Tzu


Appearance is deceiving. Having authority is not the same as being an authority. Having the right and being right are not the same either.

The pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice, because it prevents us from getting any better. Studious self-assessment is the antidote. The power of being a student is not just that it is an extended period of instruction, it also places the ego and ambition in someone else’s hands.

No matter what you’ve done up to this point, you better still be a student. If you’re not still learning, you’re already dying. It is not enough only to be a student at the beginning. It is a position that one has to assume for life. Learn from everyone and everything.

Living clearly and presently takes courage. Don’t live in the haze of the abstract, live with the tangible and real, even if—especially if—it’s uncomfortable.


Get the book here


See you next week...