top of page

OK Noted Please..

Companies don’t have communication problems, they have miscommunication problems.

We Are Using the Same Words, But Are We Speaking the Same Language?

We may all be using the same words, but we are not speaking the same language. We use words to represent our thoughts, feelings and ideas, but the meanings that we attach to these words are always different for each person using them. We have different educations, memories, associations, experiences, cultures etc. - and all of these differences affect the meanings and interpretations we attach to our words. Even this last sentence means a different things to the thousand people reading it.

The problem is not so much that we are hearing different things in the same words, but the fact that we believe that we are meaning the same thing. This misunderstanding causes many of the problems that we run into in our relationships and indeed every form of human interaction. The assumption that what I am saying is that which you are understanding is false.

What then is to be done if we are all speaking different languages despite using the same words? Shall we stop trying to communicate altogether? This is not a viable solution, as we still want to reach each others and be known, still want to dialogue and exchange ideas. Because the system is limited does not mean we limit our use of it. Rather, what is important is that we recognise and honour the limitations of language in the face of our desire to know each other, and keep all of this in the front of our consciousness. We must continually remind ourselves that what we mean with our words is probably not what the other is hearing.

Back to Basics…

I recently learned and experienced the power of breaking down communication into its most simple elements results in the clearest form of understanding. We can avoid a majority of “miscommunications” with the realisation that what is intended to be communicated is not interpreted in the same way.

Keep talking and keep it simple.


"Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality." — Man for Himself, 1947.

Erich Fromm was a German social psychologist and psychoanalyst, who was associated with the Frankfurt School of critical theory. He was known for developing the concept that freedom was a fundamental part of human nature, and for challenging the theories of Sigmund Freud.

Fromm spent much of his working career understanding the laws that govern the life of an individual and what develops their personality.

If you are interested in Humanistic Psychology, Fromm is a great writer on the subject.

See the list here.

If one has to have confidence and values, he has to first understand himself and appreciate himself. To do this let's explore the various character types that exist.

What Character type are you?

Erich Fromm suggested a theory of personality based on two primary needs: the need for freedom and the need for belonging. He suggested that people develop certain personality styles or strategies in order to deal with the anxiety created by feelings of isolation. Of these character types, he suggested that four of them are unproductive orientations, while one is a productive orientation.

Fromm believed that character is something that stems both from our genetic inheritance and from our learning experiences. Some aspects of our character are hereditary. Other aspects stem from what we learn at home, from school, and from society. And of course, there is the interplay between the two influences.

Are Personality Traits Caused by Genes or Environment?

Fromm also believed that character is something deeply ingrained and difficult to change. However, being aware of our tendencies and being committed to change can help inspire change.

Fromm also believed that people could exhibit the characteristics of more than one type and that personalities can be made up of a combination of different orientations.

The Receptive Character Type

The receptive type is characterised by a need for constant support from others. They tend to be passive, needy, and totally dependent upon others. These people require constant support from family, friends, and others, but they do not reciprocate this support.

Receptive types also tend to lack confidence in their own abilities and have a difficult time making their own decisions. Individuals who grow up in households that are overbearing and controlling often tend to have this personality orientation.

Why Self-Esteem Is Important for Success

The Exploitative Character Type

The exploitative type is willing to lie, cheat, and manipulate others in order to get what they need. In order to fulfil their need to belong, they might seek out people who have low self-esteem or lie about loving someone they really don't care about. These types take what they need either through force or deception and exploit other people to meet their own selfish needs.

The Hoarding Character Type

The hoarding type copes with insecurity by never parting with anything. They often collect a massive amount of possessions and often seem to care more about their material possessions than they do about people.

The Marketing Character Type

The marketing type looks at relationships in terms of what they can gain from the exchange. They might focus on marrying someone for money or social status and tend to have shallow and anxious personalities. These types tend to be opportunistic and change their beliefs and values depending on what they think will get them ahead.

The Productive Character Type

The productive type is a person who takes their negative feelings and channels the energy into productive work. They focus on building loving, nurturing, and meaningful relationships with other people. This applies not only to romantic relationships, but also to other familial relationships, friendships, and social relationships. They are often described as a good spouse, parent, friend, co-worker, and employee.

Out of the five character types described by Fromm, the ​productive type is the only healthy approach to dealing with the anxiety that results from the conflict between the need for freedom and the need to belong.

Wisdom/ What I am reading

Since its debut in 1997, Robert T. Kiyosaki's Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad has been a landmark among personal finance books, a best-seller that has sold nearly 40 million copies worldwide.

It has its critics, my opinion is; the books is a great starting point for those that want to be motivated to better manage their money and wealth.

Key concepts from the book:

We don't teach our kids about money, education doesn't teach us about money - the result is we don't know how to manage money.

What is an asset?

Assets are things that produce cash-flow. You become wealthy by accumulating assets.

Wealth comes from having enough assets, which generate enough income to cover all of your expenses. That way, there is enough left over to invest in more assets.

Robert Kiyosaki emphasises six key points throughout the book. These points — which differentiate between his “poor” dad (his real dad) and the “rich” dad that helped him understand business and become wealthy are:

The rich don’t work for money

The importance of financial literacy

Minding your own business

Taxes and corporations

The rich invent money

The need to work to learn and not to work for money

“Rich people acquire assets. The poor and middle class acquire liabilities, but they think they are assets.”

If you focus on positive cash flow, you still are bringing in money every month.

Pretty much all consumable goods are liabilities — something even I got tripped up with. Kiyosaki states you should buy investments that generate cash flow to help pay for your “doodads.” I think this is a great way to look at how to purchase your toys!

“An asset is something that puts money in my pocket. A liability is something that takes money out of my pocket.”

Focus on cashflow to generate wealth. Most people don’t understand they struggle financially because they don’t understand cash flow.

Keep expenses low, reduce liabilities, and diligently build a base of solid assets.

And remember:

In the real world, it’s not the smart who get ahead, but the bold.

Your financial genius requires both technical knowledge as well as courage.

Finally, savings are only used to create more money, not to pay bills.

Enjoy the read, and be inspired.

Find the book here.

Read a full review here.

Thought provoking...

Effective Confrontation….

Creating an environment in which people openly and thoughtfully give and receive feedback and recognition builds trusting teams. When you empower your team to give and receive feedback, you are fostering leadership.

Feedback and recognition also foster a culture of growth. They enable teams to practice coaching and personal growth.

If we work in strong environments where we feel that others actually care about us and want to see us grow, then we are much more open to feedback.

The FBI—feeling, behaviour, impact—is a powerful tool to communicate effectively with others.

Expressing our feelings to others can be difficult, especially in the workplace. It’s hard enough at times to articulate why you appreciate someone, much less confront someone when there is an issue.

If you want to give truly effective feedback, you need to communicate three things: the way you feel, the specific behaviour that made you feel that way, and the impact that behaviour has—whether it’s on you, the company, your relationship with that person, or anything else.

Watch the video clip here

Feeling-Behavior-Impact. F. B. I.

Here’s an example of an FBI statement: “I feel disappointed that you were thirty minutes late to the meeting yesterday afternoon, and now I’m unsure if I can rely on you in the future.”

Let’s break down its awesomeness.

Feeling: The more you can focus on how you feel and not on how you perceive the other person feels, the less the person on the receiving end can dispute your statement. For example, if someone is late and you tell them, “You don’t care about your responsibility,” you open the door to argumentative and defensive responses: That’s not true. I do care! If you say, “I feel angry,” “I feel frustrated,” or “I feel disappointed,” you leave little room for debate.

Behaviour: The recipient needs to know what they did that caused you to feel a certain way, and the more specific you can be, the better. If you were to simply say, “You were late,” that person might have trouble pinpointing an exact instance of the behaviour, especially if you waited a couple days before talking to them about it.

Impact: People generally don’t wake up in the morning and say, “I want to ruin his day.” They don’t usually intend for their behaviour to negatively impact anyone or anything. When they know that it has, they will likely try to make sure it doesn’t happen again. In this particular example, when you tell someone that their behaviour makes you question their reliability, you are showing them the consequences of being late and inspiring them to want to do differently next time.

But wait. There’s more...

The FBI is also the perfect tool for recognition. I didn’t even know there was a right way to give recognition. I al- ways thought that as long as I said something, it meant something.

Well, as it turns out, just as vague comments don’t help someone change their negative behaviour, random praise (like “You’re amazing!!!!”) doesn’t inspire anyone to keep doing great things. We shouldn’t praise people just to praise them. It’s like the whole Participation Generation thing: If we tell people they are awesome at everything, how will they know what they are really good at? Instead of thanking people for just showing up and doing what is expected of them, we should look for what they do that is above and beyond and acknowledge them for those things.

Same deal here. When you recognise someone with an FBI, you tell them how they made you feel, the behaviour that specifically made you feel that way, and the impact of their actions. When we give someone all three pieces, they’ll usually be inspired to repeat that behaviour—again and again and again.

Here’s an example: “I felt grateful when you stayed late last night to help me with the report, and it allowed me to make it home in time to put my kids to bed.”

Guess who is likely going to volunteer to stay late again the next time you need help?

Widgets that impress me

Electronic Signature

How much time do you waste signing documents? You format and print off a document, sign it, scan it into your computer, and (usually) reformat it again before sending.

companies are quickly realising the benefits. The number of worldwide eSignature transactions jumped from 89 million in 2012 to over 800 million today. That's a lot of contracts.

A digital signature is an encrypted "packet" associated with a document.

Digital signature software will create a condensed version of a document -- called a hash -- which will be encrypted using a key in a signatory certificate. This encrypted "hash" is the signature. To validate the signature, the hash is decrypted with the signatory's key and compared to the original document.

Hello Sign

HelloSign is the most user-friendly service of its kind. It helps companies of all sizes streamline and digitally sign their most critical documents. From NDAs to loans, from sales contracts to offer letters, HelloSign simplifies how business is done! HelloSign is pretty easy to use with a simple interface and makes it easy to upload and send any documents for signature (also in bulk). Very easy to learn. Basically no need to read any instructions. Monthly free program makes me feel comfortable using it without making a payment.

The template links are a great option so you can share in bulk or don't want to type an email address each time you send the same form to someone. An added benefit is that you get a notification when someone views your document as well as a notification when it has been signed. Depending on your settings, you can receive the signed documents in a pdf that is sent to your email. If you have a various forms that you don't want to bundle into a signed packet, you can change your settings so you receive each signed form individually. It will accept almost any document format you throw at it. The interface is very intuitive so you can set up documents to be signed without even needing training (which is great for new team members using it for the first time).

See you next week with more wisdom...


bottom of page