Welcome to another edition of my Bullet Friday.
I hope you’re looking after yourself wherever you are.
Setting goals focusing on a process getting slowly incrementally better using the 1% rule.
I have been thinking about the paradox of restriction - I am for the most part plant based, Vegetarian and most days only eat 1 meal. Many would term this a highly restrictive lifestyle. I find it enables me to operate with so much more energy, clarity and conviction. With a clear mind, a healthy gut and a simplified existence, in which case it’s actually liberating not restrictive.
Minimalism can also be explained as the paradox of restriction phenomenon. Minimalism by definition is restrictive, restricting yourself from collecting too many thoughts, owning too many possessions and having plenty materialistic desires. The lack of all these attachments is in itself liberating and hence reflects freedom, not restriction.
Nunchi - The Korean concept of emotional intelligence.
Nunchi is an age-old Korean word signifying the subtle art and ability to listen and gauge others' moods.
This concept is taught to Korean kids as early as 3 years of age.
The word “nunchi” roughly translates to “eye-measure”, a sort of sizing-up, not of individuals but of the 2 overall context and atmosphere of a situation. It’s applicable to just about every social setting one can be in, from a wedding to a job interview.
Having “Quick Nunchi” enhances your emotional perception and substantially improves your ability to gauge a person or group, thereby improving your chances of engaging them to your advantage. It’s a more profound way of looking at life and relating better with others.
Practically, nunchi involves noticing who, in any given context, is speaking, who is listening, who interrupts, who apologizes, who is rolling their eyes. From there, one can make potentially useful assessments about the nature of relationships and hierarchies within a group, the overall mood, and how to behave accordingly.
nunchi is the “art of understanding what people are thinking and feeling” Euny Hong
read her book on the subject - The Power of Nunchi: The Korean Secret to Happiness and Success.
Hong goes as far as saying, Nunchi, is partially responsible for the rapid growth of Korea over the past few decades.
To practice nunchi, you must learn to listen and observe more than you speak in any conversation. People who negotiate well are those who are willing to listen. And nunchi is all about listening.
In many situations if you listen and “feel” a situation most of your questions will be answered without uttering a word.
As your internal muscle of self-awareness grows, it becomes much easier to read others’ emotions and make better connections.
Euny argues that nunchi is a mixture of tact, perceptiveness, having a good grasp of social situations and possessing an instinctive sense of how to read a given encounter, alongside knowing how to respond to it.
All you need to practice good nunchi, are your eyes, ears and quiet mind.
Explore more here
“I Am Responsible For What I Say, Not What You Understand”
Between what we think, what we mean to say, what we think we say, what we say, what we want to hear, what we hear, what we think we want to hear, what we think we understand and what we understand, there are nine possibilities of not being understood.”
In any communication there are numerous factors to consider in the exchange of words and meaning. It is impossible to control everything, among other things because we are changing and ambivalent by nature and, therefore, our interpretations are varied.
Acting in a well-intentioned, assertive and calm manner is the best way to safeguard good communication.
We assume our responsibility for what we say and we’ll try to do it in the best possible way, but interpretations are not borne of what we say, but rather of the other person’s own feelings, opinions, beliefs, and other factors.
Be the Kind of Person You Would Want to Meet
We all want to have positive influences in our lives. I’m sure you seek friendships and relationships that inspire you, but are you a positive influence in other people’s lives? It sounds cliché, but you only receive what you give.
Most people won’t remember what you said to them, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.
Wabi implies a mindset that appreciates
simplicity, humility and frugality.
Sabi - Translated into English it would be something like
in the context of weathering, ageing well like an antique.
Taken together, the combined term wabi sabi implies a worldview that appreciates simple beauty, imperfection and the transience of all things.
It is best understood when it is compared to certain tendencies in the West – materialism, perfectionism and the fear of confronting the passage of time. In our fast-paced consumer culture, there is much wisdom we can take from the way of wabi sabi.
Modern living has tainted our connection to nature
Today, we often forget to notice small changes in the outside world. Unfortunately, this applies to our internal lives, too. Modern life numbs us to signals from our minds and bodies, as we flit between work and the glare of our screens. But if we can learn to read slight changes in the natural world, we can become more sensitive to our own rhythms. We can learn when we need rest or exercise, light or dark, travel or home.
Japanese culture and language can teach us how paying more attention to these nuances will positively impact our lives
For example, rather than having four seasons, the Japanese classical calendar includes 24 smaller seasons known as sekki, and 72 micro-seasons, known as kō. These micro-seasons pay special attention to minute changes in the world’s atmosphere and appearance. They have names like Awakening of hibernated insects and Mist starts to hover.
As we pay closer attention to nature, another aspect of wabi sabi becomes apparent as well: the transient nature of everything. The beautiful cherry blossom wilts, the mayfly dies, and the snow melts away from the mountaintop. This reminds us of our own impermanence, and tells us that we must focus on what really matters now, before it’s too late.
Wabi sabi encourages us to embrace acceptance.
Life can be really challenging sometimes. But without acceptance of this basic fact, we can make things even harder for ourselves. When we’re unable to be flexible, let things go, and move forward, life can be an impossible terrain. When life does throw us a challenge, the best thing we can do is learn the power of acceptance.
Firstly, we must be ready to accept change. As everything is impermanent, even stability, we must always be ready to adapt.
Life is fundamentally imperfect
Perfection is restricted to commercials, perfectly-curated social media profiles and magazines, it has no place in real life. The sooner we accept life is messy, flawed and always incomplete the happier we shall be.
Similarly, learning is also always incomplete. We will continue to grow, nurture and develop if we open our hearts to continuous learning. Failure is temporary and transient. A mere setback whilst on a journey of continuous development.
When we start to learn something – whether it’s a new language, a musical instrument or accounting –
we should embark on our journey with the understanding that there isn’t a final destination.
As learning is an endless process, failure is a necessary part of that. And rather than being a disaster, failure can be an opportunity for expansion.
Wabi Sabi values simplicity and imperfection, while recognizing the impermanence of all things. There is much that we can learn from its philosophy, in regard to our relationships with others, our career paths, our approach to failure.
The concept encourages us to accept imperfections and recognize that failure is a part and purpose of our existence.
Wisdom/ What I'm Reading...
Jim Kwik - Limitless
Referred to as “The boy with the broken brain” whilst growing up as a result of a head injury;
Jim Kwik is now giving everyone a chance to discover the secret to learning by releasing a book called Limitless: Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, And Unlock Your Exceptional Life. Stating that when you “learn how to learn” (Meta-Learning) you can break free of limiting beliefs, achieve new levels of success, and lead a truly exceptional life.
In Limitless, you will learn Jim's revolutionary strategies and shortcuts to supercharging their brains, with simple, actionable tools to sharpen the mind, enhance focus, and fast-track their fullest potential.
Limitless, is a toolbox to:
Master Your Habits
Unleash Your Productivity
Tap into Boundless Motivation
Eliminate Mental Fog
Sharpen Your Focus
The book is divided into:
Mindset, Motivation, and Method.
My key takeaway was: Effective Note taking - we lose as much as 85% of the information we learn within 24 hours of learning it - note taking is the most effective way to retain it.
I personally take notes about everything, writing things down is the way I understand and recollect thoughts and ideas.
I was especially intrigued by the concept that our brains are capable of neuroplasticity. They are malleable and the structure of the brain can be shaped by our actions. We can easily unlearn what does not work for us and learn the right skills.
“The most important thing, is to keep the most important thing the most important thing”
The book touches on the importance of the gut. We don’t just have one brain. Hidden in the walls of the digestive system is the gut brain and it has an outsized effect on determining our mental state. Our nutrition plays an integral part to our brain health.
You need mental and physical vitality for fuel. This can come from nutrition, sleep, exercise and your environment.
We often get overwhelmed with anxiety when a task is momentous, the trick is to take small steps consistently.
About the author:
Jim Kwik is a world-renowned expert in memory improvement, brain optimization, learning, and mindset. His own challenges with learning and memory stemming from a childhood brain injury lead to him creating ways to overcome his obstacles. For over two decades, he has shared what he learned and has served millions including top entrepreneurs, entertainers, athletes, political leaders, and corporations.
Jim Kwik - Resources
Jim Kwik’s learning institute: Kwik Learning is a powerhouse in memory improvement and speed reading training for individuals and Fortune 500 corporate clients around the world. Our mission is to help you learn faster, master information overload, and activate your inner genius.
Click here: Kwiklearning
Find his book: here
Widget of the Week...
Breathing is life energy
Indians call it Prana, Chinese call it Qi/ Chi; yet western medicine has no term for it.
We breathe about 25,000 times a day from the moment we are born until our final hour. Yet most of us do it incorrectly, inducing stress on the body and our vital organs.
Let me introduce Stig Severinsen a biology master and a PhD in medicine, four times world free-diving champion, a multiple world record holder
Severinsen also took the Guinness world record for holding his breath under water by submerging for an unbelievable 22 minutes.
His life mission is to get the world to breathe correctly through his business - Breatheology.
Having used this tool for the past month, I have benefited from:
Increased lung capacity
Strengthened respiratory muscles, I feel the benefits when on long runs
It has boosted my anaerobic capacity.
It’s incredible how much more energy and mental capacity you gain through conscious breathing.
How it works:
Resistance breathing exercises generate strain on your respiratory muscles - primarily the diaphragm and the intercostal muscles. This causes fatigue, which is then overcompensated by muscle tissue growth, making your breathing muscles faster, stronger and more efficient - just like any other muscle group.
The respiratory muscles need training like any other muscle to avoid atrophy, and most often they are neglected.
A simple starting point is to measure how long you can hold your breath for and try to improve the time for which you hold your breath, this is the most basic muscle training for your lungs.